Admit it, you're a homesick bastard.

one.

do you remember the last time you wanted to go home?

watching the wonderful work with eel whales before, the topic was "should parents support if they want to go to a nursing home?"

after that episode, she turned to hug me and cried for the fifth time.

I patted her on the back to appease her and told her why not go home on Mother's Day.

as a result, we didn't mention it tacitly on Mother's Day. She laughed at me on a whim, and then forgot.

actually, I didn't forget.

the day before Mother's Day, I was facing the ticket window when it occurred to me that the price of a day at home was a round trip of $300 and eight hours.

coincidentally, thorns sent another Wechat: "how's the manuscript?"

I looked at the piles of unfinished work and calculated the trouble of going home. I could only pretend that I didn't have this idea and closed the ticket window.

when I felt a little guilty, I sent a red envelope to my mother the next morning and made a phone call to chat with her for a while.

because only in this way can I comfort myself and say, it doesn't matter, I've already been with her.

to be honest, the guilt is not entirely due to not coming home.

but I found that "going home" became a burden on me at some point.

even, among the options of work, love, entertainment and going home, going home seems to be at the bottom of the list.

two.

in that issue, teacher Quanling mentioned that in the next ten years, the proportion of empty nesters will reach 90%.

I'm not going to go home after graduation, which means that only my father and mother are left to live in the family.

whether they are happy or sad, they can only share with me over the phone, and even when I am sick, I can only say "drink plenty of hot water".

when I called the other day, I told my mother about it and asked her, "Mom, what do you think?"

the reason why I ask this is because I am a little afraid that my family will not understand.

but I know that it will have to be faced sooner or later.

she just hesitated for a moment and said, "it doesn't matter. You can go out if you want. I understand."

I lost my words in an instant.

this very common answer makes me wonder whether to say "I'm sorry" or "thank you".

after a few seconds of silence, she said carefully, "if your father and I are old enough, can we come back and take care of us?"

it seems that she is afraid of being misunderstood. Before I open my mouth, she quickly adds: "We will take good care of our health and will not slow you down."

unexpectedly, they were ready to be "abandoned".

I said "yes" at the end of the phone, gently clicked the mute button, sniffed, and called myself a "jerk".

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three.

I used to talk to my family on the phone every week.

but over the past six months, I have called back less and less.

"because I'm too busy to help it."

every time I am asked by my mother or myself, I will quickly throw out this answer in exchange for a sense of peace.

over time, even I believed it.

on a recent Saturday, thorn Zepeng and I went to play live cs all afternoon and had beef hotpot for dinner.

the next day, I accidentally found a Shantou sausage noodle shop, which smelled exactly the same as my downstairs.

because I didn't call home for a long time, my mother called instead and whispered, "are you busy?"

she has said this cautious sentence many times, and when I was used to saying that I was busy, I suddenly realized that I had been playing this week.

when sausage noodles and beef hot pot can be eaten without staying at home, and when friends can fill me with the happiness and company I need, I have to admit:

I'm not homesick. I'm really not that homesick.

four.

I completely tore the "homesick" label from myself.

and keep laughing at yourself: "Don't pretend to be far away in summer, where you are homesick, you just want to eat."

yesterday I went to visit a friend who had just been dumped. After he had been depressed for a long time, he suddenly said, "I'm so homesick."

at that moment I suddenly thought of myself.

half a year ago, I had a cold war with the girl I liked and blocked each other, and the next day I bought a high-speed ticket home.

Nine months ago, I was killed 13 times a week, and I couldn't buy a high-speed rail ticket. I took a six-hour bus ride back.

A year ago, there was something wrong with the finance of the club, and all the pressure and doubts were on me. I skipped class and spent more than 200 yuan to hitch a ride home.

it seems that only in bad times do we want to go home.

in fact, my family usually can't give any good advice, and I don't tell them anything about my troubles.

but as long as you have a simple meal, have a quiet sleep in your room, and wake up the next day, you will be able to come back to life and have the courage to face everything.

just like Arena of Valor, the button clearly says to go back to the city, and the place to go back is also called spring water, but we even like to call this action "going home" when we play games.

in our subconscious mind, the place where we can replenish blood and return to blue when we are weak is home.

five.

at this point, I am facing the electricity.The brain was silent for a long time.

comes last.

be ready to be abandoned.

it will be forgotten when you are happy.

I don't think of it until I have a bad time.

this is simply a spare tire.

it's perfectly normal to say you're an asshole.

it should even be said that it is only when you are a jerk that you feel a little better and feel less guilty.

We are all the same.

after reading the wonderful words in that issue, after reading this article, I will suddenly feel "Oh, so homesick, so sorry".

but after a while, we "forget".

I don't blame you.

I just want to remind you and myself that it's a little better for the spare that's always behind me.

Sorry, thank you, and, good night.