I'm afraid of people who are too nice to me.

for some reasons at home, my younger brother was picked up to live with us when he was five years old.

when I was a child, adults said that I was a bad sister and my brother was obedient and clever.

I am very aggrieved, obviously not so.

when my parents are away, I am responsible for cooking for him, helping him pack his clothes, walking to pick him up from school, and teaching him to do his homework.

sometimes it's easy to get tired to be nice to a person.

when you are nice to a person and don't get a response, you are more tired.

I collapsed on the stool and asked him to help me with something. He said no.

I was scolded for being unhappy and wanted to watch my favorite show, but he refused either.

he did something wrong to tell him not to do this, but he insisted on doing that.

slowly, I don't want to be as nice to him as I used to be; slowly, adults say I'm a bad sister.

that's when I realized that it was bad if it wasn't good enough for others.

then we had a fight.

although he tries his best, he is not as strong as I am.

in the end, I just bruised a little, but I scratched off a few pieces of skin from his neck.

I put down my harsh words: "Don't eat the rice I cooked, hang your clothes by yourself, and you'd better not take care of me in the future."

he said nothing and sat by crying.

grown-ups say I'm a bad sister who hit my brother so hard.

I am very aggrieved, and I feel a lot of pain when I fight.

and cruel words are just words. He is younger than me, and I know I still have to take care of him.

I put up with this fight to make him realize that I was not born good to him, to make him realize what I had done for him, and to make him realize that he should cherish my kindness to him.

then I kept saying, "look, how good I am to you". This is reminding him and comforting myself: "for him, be tired."

I just didn't expect that I got "retribution" a few years later.

my father always insists on taking me anywhere in person.

my friends who crowded the bus envied me. They always thought I was spoiled by my father, but no one knew how much it made me suffer on the bus.

"you don't know how hot and congested the road is, and how difficult it is to find a parking space";

"I had something to do today, but I pushed it out to pick you up";

Get every eye on you in our consignment shops for prom wear. Kick off your amazing shopping experience with us.

"it's a good thing I came to pick you up." you don't have to squeeze too hard on the bus.

if I am a little cold in the process, he will say sadly that I have no conscience.

sometimes when I am in a bad mood and do not want to talk, he will also ask me, "am I not good to you?" What's your attitude? "

in fact, I can see my father's kindness to me, but when he emphasizes it again and again, I am out of breath.

every time he mentions, "am I not nice to you?" When I started to get scared.

I am afraid that my reaction is not good enough for his.

I am afraid that my response is not "conscientious" enough.

I am really afraid that he is kind to me who seems to be asking for nothing in return.

when I have experienced the good of constant complaints, I am willing to admit that I am really a bad sister.

there is a saying: "how many people still do not understand that the most comfortable relationship does not depend on oppression, binding, blindly giving, and moral self-touching."

many people think that when they say "I am so kind to you, how could you do this", the most tired and saddest is themselves.

No.

when you think you can be good for the other person, it just shows that the other person is weak.

just like my father thinks I can't go home comfortably, I don't think my brother can take care of his own life, they don't have the ability, so someone made it up for their own good.

and once they have accepted the good, they can't refuse the sentence "I'm so kind to you, how could you do that?"

the greater the "good" looks, the more frightening it is.

because it is too difficult to pay off, because no one does not know how to "have a conscience".

also because from the beginning, no one has ever asked the weak side, "do you like it? do you want it?"

what they give is what they think is good and what they think they need.

has anyone asked? Oh yeah?

when we say aggrieved that I don't want it, do we naturally complain: "I'm so kind to you, how could you do that?"

finally.

We all think in a panic that if we are kind to someone, we can really get love, gratitude and understanding.

but when we think that those who don't get a response are tired, will we accidentally forget that the person who has been receiving it may be out of breath?

in fact, most of the time, we think that a person is good, not because he has really done anything for himself, but more often because he is him.

whether it is a close relationship or a long-distance relationship, overemphasizing that I am good to you and what I have done for you will not bring you closer, it will really only become a burden.

now, once someone asks me, "am I not nice to you?"

I reply cautiously: "you are very kind to me, but I am afraid."

good night.